Piczo

Jan 7 2007 10:37 am
How do you get a fat bird into bed- a peice of cake!!

Apr 4 2006 01:48 pm
scarlett: theres a granny down the alay way, picking her fanny, does it smell,(sniff) fucking how.

Feb 14 2006 04:49 pm
The truth is always less painful

Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming toward him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading.

The girl came up to him and asked,

"What do you have under the newspaper?"

"A bird," the guy replied.

The girl walked away, and the guy fell asleep. When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the police asked him what happened, the guy replied,

"I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this little girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here."

The police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her, "What did you do to that naked fellow?"

After a pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."

Moral of the story........................ never lie to kids.

Feb 14 2006 04:48 pm
whats the difference between a black cab and stephan klos?

a black cab only lets in 5 at once

Feb 14 2006 04:47 pm
A man was sitting on the beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman said, "Have you ever had a hug?" The man said, "No" so
she gave him a hug and walked on.

The second woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?" The man said "No" so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

The third woman came to him and said, "Have you ever been fu*ked?"

The fellow said "No".

She said, "You will be when the tide comes in."

Feb 14 2006 04:46 pm
Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?"
He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain;"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, for one; I like to watch my money grow, and two; once in a while I like to play with my money, three; I like how money feels in my hand and lastly; instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."

Feb 14 2006 04:44 pm
WILL YOU MARRY ME?

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other." He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along."

So she consented, and they were married and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

She said, "That was incredible!"

He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly! After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, bar ely breathing hard.

He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
'No," she said, "I was a hooker in
Kentucky and I worked both sides of the Ohio River

Feb 14 2006 04:42 pm
Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite, the
receptionist asks 'do you have reservations?' The bride answers 'Yes, I
won't take it up the arse'!

Feb 14 2006 04:41 pm
A woman goes to her doctor with a bit of lettuce hanging out of her pussy.
Doc say's 'that looks nasty'. She say's 'Nasty?, it's just the tip of the
iceberg!

Feb 14 2006 04:41 pm
Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel....
They say it's only for the Christmas period

Feb 14 2006 04:41 pm
It's important to keep fit as you get older, my granny started walking 5
kilometres a day when she was 60. Today she's 97 and we don't know where the
hell she is!

Feb 14 2006 04:40 pm
Sorry I haven't been in touch, a friend was rushed to hospital to have a
dangerous mole removed from his penis...... he won't be shagging one of
those again!

Feb 14 2006 04:40 pm
Paul McCartney poem-: We lay upon the grassy bank, my hands were all a
quiver, I slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river.

Feb 14 2006 04:39 pm
Larry la Prise who wrote the hokey cokey has died aged 93. The worst part
was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, then the trouble
started

Feb 14 2006 04:39 pm
Boss has to lay off Ann or Jack. Ann walks into the office, boss say's 'I
have a problem, I have to lay you or Jack off.....'You better jack off, I've
got a headache'.

Feb 14 2006 04:38 pm
A couple in a cafe in Llangollen asks 'Can you settle an argument for us and
pronounce where we are, VERY slowly?' The waitress leaned over and said
........ 'Burrr gurrr king'

Feb 14 2006 04:38 pm
Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her 'what's your mum
like?' Little girl replies 'Big cocks and vodka'.

Feb 14 2006 04:38 pm
Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much, it
scared the s**t out of me. So today I decided I'm never reading again.

Feb 14 2006 04:37 pm
Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale clitoris licking
frog' She goes in and the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour madame'.

Feb 14 2006 04:37 pm
My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his
patients, it's a real shame cause he's a really good vet.

Feb 14 2006 04:37 pm
A woman asked her hubby if he knew how she could make her bust bigger. He
said 'try rubbing toilet paper between your tits, it's worked for your
arse'.

Feb 14 2006 04:37 pm
Man says to wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night, I dreamt you got
run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing'